닥터베르 작가 / Master your failure like your muscle
1. Hello, I am 닥터베르, a webtoon writer.
I am 닥터베르(이대양), and I write webtoon ‘닥터앤닥터육아일기’ in NAVER webtoon platform. I also have doctoral degree in engineering.
Doctoral degree, webtoon writer, babysitting, music video production, novel publication, artistic gymnastics… My life has been a series of challenge. Come to think of it, my numerous challenges usually took place when my life faced adversities. I published a novel when my family was at financial crisis, I thought to write webtoon when I suffered cervical spine fracture, and I tried composing music when I was pondering about my future plan due to my career loss.
I think my answer to “How can I be happy?” was a bit more bizarre than most people when I faced certain difficulties.
2. Marriage during graduate school
One of my toughest moments in graduate school was when I prepared for my marriage.
I couldn’t expect any financial support from my family, and being a graduate student, I couldn’t get loans from bank.
Also with babysitting, there were people who viewed graduate school not as a profession for living or supporting the family, but as my own greed, which hurt a lot. I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. Despite these hardships, I was able to complete my graduate school course with the help of professor and my colleagues. I think I got more consideration compared with other people, so I am still very grateful for that.
3. Research fee that I wasted
In graduate school, I studied interaction between irregular nanoparticles and interface, which results I could not predict without experimental procedures. Certain point of planning and sorting out candidates for substrates was possible, but there was nothing that I could predict aside from these. Of course, the results usually didn’t match my expectations, and I was quite frustrated.
My wasted time was one thing, but the research fee and the sense that I wasted other fellow researchers’ time were something else. But through these frustrating times, I talked to various people and realized most of people undergo similar experience to complete their doctoral degrees.
4. Danger of general paralysis
When our child was 3 years old, we bought a big trampoline about 3.5m. We thought this was a good option to ‘tire out’ the kid.
I was elevated myself, watching my child enjoy the trampoline, and thought to enjoy it myself. With the memory of artistic gymnastics that I had learned, I tried tumbling in midair. Maybe it was the height, or maybe it was my overwhelmed self-confidence, but I fell right to the ground and suffered spine fracture and spent a long time lying in the bed.
At that time, my right hand was the only part in my body that I could move without pain, which led me thinking about webtoon writer. The cartoon I drew that time ended as a failure, but it gave me huge insight regarding my current work and my pen name.
5. Experiment is not your priority in life.
Assessment of failure depends on the consequences. Successful results deem the procedure as a stepping stone to success, but negative results deem the procedure as a waste of time and life. But through my various challenges and failures, I learned that those can also be trained, just like our muscles.
With my success and failures, I can see my strength and objective status, and can find the field for effort and specific methods for it. Above all, the mentality to not be frustrated by a single failure and change the approach then challenge again cannot be learned without experiencing the failure itself.
5. Experiment is not your priority in life.
This year I plan to focus on 닥터앤닥터 and publishing it as a book.
I don’t know about next year – I could write another webtoon, be a traveler, or write a novel. The ultimate goal is to live a healthy, happy life with my family, but I can’t be sure about what will happen during the journey towards it.
6. Competition rate and probability is different.
As it is with many fields, competition rate is not the same with probability.
Even if the competition rate is hundreds to 1, someone might be certain of their success, and someone might not be.
Eventually, I just think that you have to know your own talent and possibility by yourself through various attempts. Putting all your eggs in one basket might not be a wise move, so I advise you check out people’s reaction through short stories first.
"Failure is a maze towards happiness"
About the interviewee
Seoul National University, Graduate of Department of Energy Engineering
Seoul National University, Doctoral degree in Energy System Engineering
2006 장편소설 <공대생의 사랑이야기> 출간
2012 '광물 찌꺼기 고성능 재활용기술 개발' 공동연구 보고서 발간
2019 '비산재 나노입자의 석유 산업 내 선별적 활용' 논문 저술
2019~ 네이버 웹툰 <닥터앤닥터 육아일기> 수/일 연재중